He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
