Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
