So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
