dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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