So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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