Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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