oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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