ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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