and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
