Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
