i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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