It was confusing and full of hummus
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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