I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
