You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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