Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
