pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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