he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
