I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
how does that bad decision feel?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
