....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
