And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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