Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
