eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
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I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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