I think im going to throw up on grandma
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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