I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize