I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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