Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
