I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
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I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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