Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
