Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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