Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I came so hard my ears popped.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
