..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
