Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
