left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
