i just identified you from a description of your pipe
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
