So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
