After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
