What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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