its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
