shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
