All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
