Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
