Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize