I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
