You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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