Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
