I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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