Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize