Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
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You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
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So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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