it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
