if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
