i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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