I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
