If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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