He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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