i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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